Emmett's Chinese Adventure
by Aspenleaf
Summary: Sent to China on business for three weeks, Emmett is determined to make the most of his visit. After meeting a series of interesting people he manages to bring home a few souvenirs for his friends. A prequel to my o/s, 'A Dose of Reality'.


**Many thank you's to my betas Lambcullen and Daisy, for betaing this on such short notice. And to the lovely ladies that put this together for the big guy, what an awesome idea this was! Thank you for the opportunity to participate.**

**I Do Not Own Twilight**

* * *

I stretched and tried to loosen the kinks in my legs and back. When I was given the chance to come here I was nothing but excited about the opportunity. It was the furthest I'd ever been from home.

_Mental note, Emmett... next time bite the bullet and upgrade to first class._

Though the economy wasn't the best and my company was trying to save money, I was too damn big to fly coach for that many hours.

Making my way off the airplane, I was greeted by a nice man named Lee. He would be my driver while I was here in Beijing. Disappointed at not being able to drive myself, I picked up my bags and followed him to the car.

After a thirty minute drive from hell, we arrived at my hotel.

_Did I say disappointed about driving? I meant grateful._

I patted my various body parts, making sure everything was still intact and tried to get my legs to stop shaking. How on earth do people maneuver their cars that way?

I chuckled under my breath, thinking Edward would get a kick out of trying.

After dropping me at my hotel, Lee left, promising to return at eight a.m. the next morning.

Dragging my tried sore ass up to my room, I fell into bed and fell asleep.

I woke up rested and ready to go. I even had that bright-eyed look which was not normal for me in the morning. There was only problem: it was two in the morning.

I stared at the clock in frustration, then I ripped off my suit and put on my gym clothes, grumbling about the "stupid time difference." After a good run, I was able to fall asleep again and wake up at better time. This time, however, I was neither bright-eyed nor ready to go. I felt like shit.

Fucking time zones.

"Oh, sir. You no look so good."

I nodded at Lee and fell into the backseat, exhausted. The initial meeting had gone fine; I was just tired... and sore... and did I mention tired?

"I recommend you get Chinese massage. It help; I promise."

I raised an eyebrow, thinking he was going to send me to his sisters or something.

"There is an upscale spa not one block from your hotel. They specialize in business travelers."

That didn't sound too shady. "What's the name?"

" 痛苦 "

"Uh huh, and what does that mean?"

"Pain," he replied simply, and left it at that.

"So you're saying I should go to a massage place that is named 'pain' to get rid of my pain?" I asked dubiously.

"Of course. They make all the pain go away."

I chuckled and shook my head, thinking this was going to be a crazy three weeks.

**~I~I~I~**

I lasted another forty-eight hours before I caved and walked to the massage place. My body was still sore and stiff from the flight, and I was so tense it wasn't even funny. It wasn't far, only taking me five minutes to get there. I walked in the door and was greeted by a thick fog of incense. The smell wasn't too strong, but I could barely see the walls.

"Welcome," a small voice said before its owner walked out from behind a screen. She motioned for me to follow her, and without a word, walked through the opening behind the screen. The hallway was long and lined with doors. It was weird but I could have sworn the ceiling in hallway was getting shorter.

She stopped suddenly and opened a door. "This way, Sir." She gestured, smiling. "Mia be with you shortly."

"Thank you," I replied, but she was gone by the time I turned.

_Huh, weird._

I started to unbutton my shirt, when the door swung open hitting me in the back.

"Unf!"

"Oh! I so sorry." A small girl with her head down placed a tray on the table next to the massage bed. She looked up for a second and then dropped her head again. "Tea," she explained, pointing to the tray. "It relax you." And then she darted from the room.

Letting out a deep breath, I finished unbuttoning my shirt and removing my trousers.

I walked over to the massage table, grabbed the towel, and wrapped it around my waist. I eyed the tea and decided to smell it before drinking it. I was more of a coffee man so tea was never my first choice.

The smell wasn't too bad, but I couldn't place what it was. Slowly I took a sip, ready to spit it out if it was disgusting.

_Huh, not too bad._

When I had finished the tea, I lay down on the table and covered myself with the towel, trying to relax.

"You relaxed?" A woman suddenly appeared out of nowhere, and although it's not manly to scream, I almost did.

"Whoa! What the hell? Where did you come from?"

"The door, silly man." The older lady replied.

Come to think of it, the more I looked at her, the more disappointed I became. How the hell was she going to massage me without breaking one of her bony fingers?

"So, um... would you like me on my back or front?"

_Shit, Emmett, that just sounded wrong._

"Your back. I just doing acupuncture," she smiled brightly.

"Acupuncture?" I squeaked.

"Yes, yes." She waved her hand dismissively. "It help you relax more for massage."

I lay there, trying to decide whether to stay or throw my dignity to the wind, grab my clothes, and run like hell back to my hotel.

Who cared if I was running a block naked? Needles scared the shit out of me.

"Okay, deep breath." The woman looked at me and frowned. "You big man. No need to be scared. Relax."

I drew in several deep breaths and was somewhat relaxed, until I saw her coming at my face with a needle.

I did the only thing a man could do in this situation – I held my breath and closed my eyes as tight as I could.

The poke never came. Instead I opened one eye, and then the other. The old woman had her hands on her hips and was shaking her head. "You ridiculous."

"No," I retorted, slightly angry. "I'm not ridiculous, I'm scared of needles."

"Pssh." She waved the needle in her hand. "This nothing. I guarantee you see bigger needle one day, scare you more."

Sighing, I closed my eyes again. "Alright."

The first poke was not as bad as I thought it would be.

I barely felt it at all.

After she was done, I thanked her. She smiled and told me the masseuse would be in shortly.

I let out a deep breath… I had survived.

I never thought I would voluntarily allow myself to be poked with dozens of needles. I chalked it up to one of those things you do in strange countries, like buying really ugly shirts or palm leaf hats from a beach vendor for fifty dollars.

I shuddered at that memory. The guy just wouldn't take no for an answer and I caved, much to amusement of Jasper and Edward.

The door opened again, and the tiniest woman I'd ever seen came walking through the door. She greeted me but I couldn't speak.

_What the hell? How was she supposed to massage me? Was she going to stand on my back and dance?_

Irritated and disappointed, I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

"This your first Chinese massage?" the tiny woman asked.

"Mhmm," I mumbled into the table.

"Ooohh, relax. I try not hurt you."

Even though she couldn't see my face, I raised my eyebrow anyway.

_Riggghht._

At first I barely felt anything. Her hands moved up and down my body, gently kneading the muscle. Then she told me to take a deep breath, and then... the pain started.

I squirmed and tried my hardest to hold still, but fucking hell! It hurt.

"Hold still. You make it worse."

"I'm trying! I swear it feels like you're massaging under my ribs."

"Oh, you survive. No whine, it bad for chi."

"My chi is crying right now, cuz…" She suddenly dug in extra hard, and I cried out. "You're beating the shit out it!"

After a half hour of more torture she finally left.

I laid on the table, unsure I could still walk after that. I lifted my arm. _Huh it still works_. Then I tried my leg.

Sliding off the table, I was pleasantly surprised at how good I felt. For all the pain I had endured over the past two hours, I felt pretty damn good.

I got dressed and made my way back to the front to pay my bill. I wanted to leave the woman a hefty tip for putting up with my sorry ass.

The lady who had greeted me was at the front and she ran my card. I signed my receipt and left a tip, thanking her again. When I turned around, I saw the tiny woman.

"Thank you," I said sincerely.

She held up her hand and waved. "You welcome."

I left the place feeling better than when I had gone in. Most of the soreness was gone and walking wasn't as painful as it had been.

All in all, I felt pretty damn good.

Though I swore to myself I would _not_ tell my friends how I had nearly choked seeing the size of that tiny woman's hands. And the needles.

**~I~I~I~**

The three weeks had flown by, and I felt the trip had been a success. I even managed to speak some Chinese without embarrassing myself. I had the night to myself and wanted to pick up some souvenirs for my buddies back home. The hotel had recommended a street fair not too far away which sold unusual trinkets.

Lee picked me up and dropped me off at a large gate at the entrance to the fair. He told me he'd give me a couple of hours before returning to pick me up.

I walked by some of the weirdest things I'd ever seen. The first part was an open air meat market. Don't get me wrong, I love meat as much as the next guy, but to see it hung there with the air and flies and… My stomach flipped just thinking about what was growing on it.

There were bugs skewered on shish kabobs… I snapped a picture with my phone, knowing the guys would never believe me when I told them they ate smoked beetles.

Jasper's present was easy. I got him a set of Chi balls, knowing he'd enjoy them not only for the history, but the calming effect. Edward, however, proved more difficult. The guy had everything, so buying something that wouldn't just become paperweight shit was hard.

I was about to give up and head back to wait for Lee, when an old woman pointed at me and waved me over to her table.

"You," she said. "Come here. I have just thing you looking for."

_Oh really?_

When I neared the table, I took my previous remarks back. Did I say old? From the depth of the lines on her face I'd say she was a runaway exhibit from the Beijing museum.

"And just what am I looking for?" I challenged.

"Herbs, of course. I have best in Beijing."

She pointed to the hundreds of bags which lined the table. Each bag had an animal character on the front.

"I am looking for something for a friend of mine," I admitted.

"Good, good. Tell me about him. He big man too?"

Chuckling I shook my head. "No, but he'd like to be. Do you have something that could help him?"

"Yes! Yes, this." She grabbed a bag with a snake on the front. "It make him big and strong. You see."

I took it from her and looked at the snake. "What is this?"

"It the _python_. Like I said, it make him big and strong. Work for hours."

Edward had recently started working out, so what could it hurt? If anything, it would give him a laugh.

"I'll take it!" I handed her the money and thanked her. She had an eerie smile when I walked away. It wouldn't be until much later that I would discover why.

**~I~I~I~**

_Two weeks later, Seattle Washington_

"Hey, Emmett." Jasper stood outside my bedroom door. "Have you seen Edward?"

"Not since he left for his workout, why?"

"Oh. No reason, I just needed to run some numbers by him."

A loud crash came from the other end of the house, and we took off in the direction of the noise.

The door to the bathroom was locked, and whoever was in there was moaning in pain.

I pounded on the door. "Edward, man, you in there?"

"Emmett!" He shouted angrily. "What the hell did you give me?"


End file.
